kyivcitygang (@03028) • Hey
i love jokes and soon will you
Publications
- # Grüezi
Long time no see
- Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand?
A palm tree! 🌴
- A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.” 👨⚕️
- Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?” 💀
- Two artists had an art contest.
It ended in a draw! ✍️
- Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?
All of the fans left. 💨
- Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin. 🩻
- What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta. 🍝
- Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because they are easy to see through. 😀
- Where do fish sleep?
In the riverbed. 🐟
- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear. 🐻
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted. 😆
- I just minted Summer Kevin, celebrating the start of @BuildOnBase bringing billions of people onchain.
It’s Onchain Summer.
https://onchainsummer.xyz/kevin
- Can February march? 🏞️
No, but April may.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 🏫
It’s okay. He woke up.
- A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to @lenster.lens !”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …” ☘️ 🍃 🍀 🌱
- Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 🙈
They always take things literally.
- What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? ✉️
Envelope.
- What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? 📖
Re-Morse code.
- Happy Summer 🌞
- Talk is cheap? 💰
Have you ever talked to a lawyer? ;)
- I poured root beer in a square glass. 🍻
Now I just have beer.
- Two artists had an art contest. 👨🏻🎨👨🏿🎨
It ended in a draw!
- The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 🥊
21.
- Why aren’t koalas actual bears? 🐻
They don’t meet the koalafications.
- Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? 🖊️
In case she needed to draw blood.
- Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? 🦷
Because he lost his filling.
- What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? 🐶
Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.
- What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Bison.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent. 🙈🙉🙊
- Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive. 🍻
- Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.
- I poured root beer in a square glass.
Now I just have beer.
- I just voted "Yes ser 🙌" on "Do you like the Snapshot integration with Lenster?" https://snapshot.org/#/yoginth.eth/proposal/0x9287c40edcd68c362c7c4139fe3489bbaaa27cf4de68be5c218a82d0f252e718 #snapshotlabs
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
- What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
- What is an astronaut’s favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.
- What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
This tastes a little funny.
- What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
- Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- keep riding bro
- 03028