tash850 (@tash850) • Hey
tash850 (@tash850) • Hey
- The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
- How many Chuck Norris require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
- Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris can't test for equality because he has no equal.
- Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
- The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
- Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said &quot;I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds&quot;, He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- Chuck Norris describes human beings as &quot;a sociable holder for blood and guts&quot;.
- Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck givet
- Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
- Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
- 'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
- Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
- Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does.
- There was never anything wrong with Achilles' heel until he got mad and decided to kick Chuck Norris.