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@parker934

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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

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Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

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Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

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The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

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CNN was originally created as the &quot;Chuck Norris Network&quot; to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

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Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

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We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.

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Tornados occur when Chuck Norris sneezes.

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Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's…

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Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.

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Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

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Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

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Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.

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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

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Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

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Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

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Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying…

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